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Before They Get Stale: Gallagher, Chris Elliott and Elizabeth Beckwith New York Times Breaking News: A Lot of Comedians Are From Astoria
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From Indecision

You know, when you think about it, this just makes perfect sense

Alex Lange is a chubby, dimpled, healthy and happy 4-month-old. But in the cold, calculating numbered charts of insurance companies, he is fat. That's why he is being turned down for health insurance…

Alex's pre-existing condition — "obesity" — makes him a financial risk.

Hey, this is America! If four-month-old Alex Lange wanted health insurance, then he shouldn't have spent the past 13 months of his development developing into such a big fat lardass.

Seriously, kid. Stop being such a health care queen, and go run a few laps around the playpen. And would it kill you to drink some 2 percent breast milk once in a while?

On second thought, why don't you just go and live in Canada or Great Britain. America is no place for fat people.

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