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William Shatner Reads the Poetry of Levi Johnston South Park Redefines the F Word
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An area basic-cable comedy network announced today that it had ordered a pilot for a scripted television series based on The Onion Sports Network. The news excited one local comedy nerd so much that the pasty dork was moved to poorly ape the style of the popular satirical newspaper when delivering the story on the aforementioned comedy network's blog. Said the dweeb between bouts of self-deprecation used to mask his true insecurities, "Holy mother of fuck, this is awesome!"

"Get ready for the most intense sports coverage humanity has yet witnessed," Onion Sports Network director Will Graham said. "We won't rest until you're perched in front of your TV, shouting in breathless excitement, neglecting your loved ones and your job because you are so completely addicted to our sports coverage."

Seriously, this is great news. The Onion bringing sports to Comedy Central is sure to fill the Let's Bowl-shaped hole in all of our hearts. You can read the full press release here.

Below, get a taste of what to expect from the new show, with one of OSN's most recent web-videos.

Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game



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