Tonight, I went to see Patton Oswalt at the House of Comedy show and it was great. Unfortunately, they confiscated my camera. I was like, "Excuse me, sir/madam, dost thou not know, I am a blogger, the grandest of professions!" And then I spit in his or her face!
But it didn't work because apparently everyone here at Comic-Con is a blogger. It makes sense, the only difference between a blogger and a nerd is that one of the two has embraced their Cheetos stained fingers and the other one hides their dorkiness behind indie band T-shirts.
So, I wasn't able to snap any cool pictures of the performers, but I do have a giant collection of pictures of cute animals, so they shall pick up the slack.
"First time at Comic-Con. You make it too easy for a comedian." – Kyle Kinane
He proceeded to corral the rowdy crowd into some semblance of civility. It did take them a while to get into the groove, but when he won them over, he won them over hard. Click after the jump to continue reading.
After Kyle opened up the show, he welcomed to the stage to surprise special guests, Paul Scheer and Scott Aukerman.
"I'm Tim Scorsese." "And I'm John Faggot." –Paul Scheer and Scott Aukerman
The two proceeded with their act, a semi-improvised bit where they portrayed two filmmakers who did not get accepted into Hall H at Comic-Con. Their film, Space Padres (or Space Our Heavenly Fathers), was insane-sounding, which was the joke. That is how jokes work, guys!
They brought a lady on to the stage and Scott coerced her through a scripted bit into kissing him.
Like this, but with some jokes about boners and vaginas.
After that, Brian Posehn did a seven-minute set. It was quick but memorable (That's what she probably would have said if she wasn't sleeping right now because it's really late while I'm writing this).
(To a heckler) "Yell at Patton, fucker! I only got seven minutes!"
After that Patton Oswalt headlined the evening. He talked a bit about the convention, "The people who wear elaborate costumes should be the life coaches." He explained that if someone was able to go through the effort of wearing a crazy costume and go to the bathroom without getting piss all over it, they knew enough about self-control and will power to get someone to quit smoking.
"Clowns are just transvestites that keep going." – Patton Oswalt
Patton talked to the audience for a nice chunk of the show. My favorite part was when he stumbled across a couple who met at an Applebee's.
"I'm going to think about that later when I kill myself." – Patton Oswalt
He suggested he pop the marriage question to her at a Bennigan's and get married at a Dave & Buster's. Very funny. Here's a final picture of bunnies in a classroom.
For those of you at the convention, Patton will be signing at the Dark Horse booth Saturday from 3-4PST. I'll be hitting up the Futurama panel and covering that as well! It's gonna be a fun one! Stick around!