There's going to be a royal wedding! I mean a real one. Not one with old ugly people. Can you believe it?! This is so exciting! Let's see. The last time this happened was when Charles, Prince of Wales, married Diana Spencer back in the summer of '81. I remember it so vividly. I want to celebrate this one the exact same way I did that one. By stealing my grandfather's fedora and whipping a bunch of trees with a power cord in the back yard while humming the theme to Raiders of the Lost Ark over and over again.
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