Hari Kondabolu is either really good at promoting his stand-up, or really good at getting people to not promote his stand-up. There is no middle ground in this spectrum. He's gotten John Oliver, Todd Barry, Hannibal Buress, Kristen Schaal and more to insult him and the pronunciation of his name (click past the jump for that clip).
Hari Kondabolu's Comedy Central Presents airs this Friday at 11/10c and it's hilarious. Defy John Oliver's wishes, watch the special and read Hari's interview below.
Please draw a self-portrait.
Here is a self-portrait I drew of myself for my autobiography entitled "Autobiograpy of Hari" when I was 7 (on the right):
Here is what I actually looked like when I was 7 (below the self-portrait):
Was it a case of early childhood "body dysmorphic disorder" or did I actually believe I looked like this man? (below the photo)
What adjective would your mom or best friend use to describe you?
My mother said the following: "Pain in the butt is not an adjective, right?"
My best friend since childhood Jatin refused to pick just one adjective and wrote me the following text in response to the question: "Smart funny reliable deserving ridiculous chaotic surprising considerate thoughtful"
In addition to the lack of punctuation, I also find it interesting he slipped "ridiculous" and "chaotic" in there between all the overly positive adjectives. Clever.
My best friend since high school Ariela wrote the following: "caring, empathetic, sensitive, introspective, analytical, passionate, warm, sincere, earnest and integritous (if you don't mind making up words). I'm not quite satisfied with any of these, so expect another list."
My best friend, and former college and Seattle roommate, Sam wrote nothing. He refused to take part in this survey.
I asked for one word between four people and no one could do it.
The correct answer was "handsome." I'm HANDSOME.
Click past the jump for the rest of the interview, Hari's promo starring his comedy "friends" and a preview from his special.
If you could commit a crime with any historical figure, who would it be? What crime would you commit?
I'd probably spin and weave my own cotton as part of the Indian Independence movement. This aspect of the overall movement was aimed at ending a reliance on foreign-made, especially English, products and developing Indian industry.
I would do this or shoplift with Winona Ryder.
(The first answer was written to appeal to my niche audience of the educated elite. The second answer was for everyone else. This parenthetical clarification will likely be appreciated by no one.)
How do you like your coffee?
With milk and sugar. Mostly with too much sugar. As a result, I've only actually tasted "pure coffee," as I refer to it, a few times in my life. It's a problem. I grew up drinking a milky and sugary brew from a large national chain of coffee and donut shops that I cannot name for legal reasons in this questionnaire.
Bubble letters. Pink and Orange. What fat America apparently runs on?
My favorite coffee is a Nutella Mocha that they make at this place called Faire Gallery in Seattle. It's delicious, but will likely lead to my demise. Comedians tend to die prematurely because of drugs, alcohol or suicide. I fear I will be the first to go out from to a Nutella-based illness. Diabetes, I think it's called.
First Aunt Viv or second Aunt Viv?
First Aunt Viv. No doubt. She had more attitude and charm. Here's the bigger question: If there was a Fresh Prince reunion, what would happen if the two Aunt Vivs met each other? Would the Fresh Prince Universe simply collapse in on itself?
What did you dream about last night?
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, but no harm. Just another false alarm. Last night I felt real arms around me. No hope, no harm. Just another false alarm.
It was a debate between quoting The Smiths or Martin Luther King.
Which subject were you best at in grade school?
I don't have the numbers in front of me, but it was probably social studies or English. I was good at anything that allowed for interpretation and speculation without needing too many hard facts. This would explain my success at two small liberal arts colleges.
What is your breakfast of champions?
It's actually idli with my mother's peanut chutney. (No Microsoft Word spell-check, "idli" is not spelled wrong. You Eurocentric bastard!)
What do you do when you are not doing comedy?
I watch a lot of sports, which usually surprises people because I'm not a moron.
I also work on a mostly improvised talk show with my little brother Ashok called "The Untitled Kondabolu Brothers Project." We've been discussing a podcast too. Stay tuned.