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Patton Oswalt is a man of many talents, one of which includes rewriting the history of western religion. In the following clip, he introduces Jesus' hoagie-pushing sidekick from an earlier version of the Bible, Sandwich Joe:

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Can you imagine, if the authors of The Bible had kept the Sandwich Joe character, how much better the world would be? Christ has enough on his plate without having to worry about how thin mankind looked. I can get behind this, seriously. Do they allow rewrites to this thing?

Patton's special, Patton Oswalt: Finest Hour, makes its network television premiere this Saturday at 10/9c.

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